


Kill All Humans

by Ratango



Category: Elfen Lied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 16:09:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20473841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ratango/pseuds/Ratango
Summary: Sick and tired of being treated like sh*t, our three favourite killer Diclonii speak out against their maltreatment...NWA STYLE, PLAYA!!!!!!!!!!!





	Kill All Humans

Right about now Elfen Lied court is in full effect  
Judge DNA Voice presiding  
In the case of the Diclonii versus the human species  
Prosecuting attorneys are Silpelits Mariko and Nana  
As well as Lucy the motherfuckin’ Queen  
Order, order, order!  
Nana, take the motherfuckin’ stand  
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth  
And nothing but the truth to save your horned head?  
  
You goddamned right!  
  
Well, why don’t you tell everybody what the fuck you gotta say?

Kill all humans! Thinking our plight is some snuff porn!  
Sweet lil’ girl got it bad cos’ I’m horned  
And not the innuendo so people think, they probably  
Gotta kill an anomaly  
Fuck that shit cos’ I will not cringe  
‘Bout some four-eyed motherfucker with a lab coat and syringe  
To be locked away, like some guinea pig  
My Papa Kurama is a prick!  
Lettin’ me out of confinement  
Says he needs me to go on a manhunt  
Facin’ down Lucy, that was fuckin’ stupid!  
Bleedin’ on the floor like some fuckin’ invalid

Seein’ me as a cripple  
Gave me some prosthesis, my clumsiness will triple  
Kill a human being brutally  
When I’m finished, I’ll end it bloodily  
Oozin’ from stiffs gibbed a la Jack the Ripper  
Just like when he gut them strippers  
I don’t know if they sick or on meds  
Shootin’ cannonballs, right at our heads  
And on the other hand, without a vaccine they can’t save Man  
But then they’ll simply impose a birth ban  
Scorched earth policy  
“If I can’t win, then no one can” mentality  
Nana wants dead  
Any and all bastards without horns on their heads  
Just cos’ of my vectors, invisible hands  
Bitch humans fear me throughout all the land!  
I am a whirlwind made of vengeance  
And once this is over, it’s gonna smell pungent  
Of humans, dyin’ today  
Yo Voice, I’ve got somethin’ to say!

Kill all humans!  
Kill all humans!  
Kill all humans!  
Kill all humans!

Come on out, Nana! Papa needs you to do something for him!  
  
Yay! What is it?  
  
To find Lucy and capture her. If you succeed, Papa will be very proud!  
  
Yeah! Come on Lucy, we can do this the easy way or the.......Ahhhh!  
(Sounds of Nana being chopped up)  
  
So much for that idea...I wonder if those prostheses are ready?  
  
Mariko, will you please give your testimony  
To the jury about this fucked up incident?

Kill all humans! Mariko said it with hostility!  
Because all them experiments cost me my mobility  
Wheelchaired! Stitched bombs inside my body  
Makin’ sure I don’t try nothin’ funny!  
Like defiance or a mutiny  
Due to trauma-related insanity  
But they still scared, so they blow off my right arm  
I’m the strongest Diclonius, I can do much harm!  
Because it gives humans a hint not to treat me like shit!  
Hands in the air? I will not quit  
Pullin’ out a machine gun, and right here I sit  
As I carve up troops in a psychotic fit  
Make you think I’ma Kawaii  
But this young girl is on a killing spree!  
I’m wicked as fuck when it comes to death  
But I’ma kill’em all now and leave none left  
My vectors have a range of thirty-six feet  
With this much reach, I can’t be beat!  
I’m a Diclonius that’s mad!  
With potential, to maim really bad  
Your karma’s comin’ around  
Vectors out, and this is the sound!  
(Slicing, screaming and blood spurting sounds.) Yeah, something like that  
But it all depends how mean is the brat  
Genocide of mankind will make my day  
A Diclonius like me don’t give a fuck to say

Kill all humans!  
Kill all humans!  
Kill all humans!  
Kill all humans!

(Reinforced door opens.) Whattya want, Kakuzawa?  
Number thirty-five, you are to recapture Lucy under tight supervision.  
  
What the fuck?  
If you don’t comply, the explosives inside you will be detonated! (Presses a remote.)  
  
(Boom.) Ahhhh! My arm! That was my right arm! My freakin’ right arm!  
  
Lucy, won’t you step up to the stand  
And tell the jury how you feel about this bullshit.

I’m tired of this motherfuckin’ nightmare!  
Bangin’ my Mom, while I’m rottin’ in this daycare  
An orphanage straight out of hell, where they kick my butt  
Then have the balls to kill my mutt!  
I can’t take it no more  
So from here on it’s gore!  
Where I infect people with my vectors  
To replace the world with my horned sisters and brothers  
Kouta hides his sister with silence  
So I kill her and their Daddy with violence  
The Queen with the yandere behaviour  
Feelin’ the world owes her a favour  
Look at that kill squad, this will be nice  
Couple dumb mooks waitin’ to get sliced  
By me, Queen Diclonius  
Armed with vectors, it’s now them standin’ against us  
Being outnumbered don’t mean shit, I’m a livin’ God, fool!  
And just so you know, Lucy will rule!  
Where heads-a-rollin’, keep a lookin’ behind you  
And watch the news, so you can see two  
Warring species in a riot  
And if I’m walkin’ away, they’re idiots  
That I’ve massacred, then got away  
While I’m offin’ humans, this is what I’ll say

Kill all humans!  
Kill all humans!  
Kill all humans!  
Kill all humans!

The verdict:  
Jury’s found humanity guilty of being a monster, hypocrite and oppressive motherfucking race.  
  
Wait! What about them?! They got blood on their hands too!  
  
Waste’em!  
  
Take no prisoners!  
  
Happy hunting!  
  
Everybody for themselves!

Kill all humans!  
Kill all humans!  
Kill all humans!  
Kill all humans!

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics inspired by N.W.A’s “Fuck the Police” circa. 1988  
Elfen Lied created by Lynn Okamoto circa. 2004  
All credits go to their respective creators  
This parody song is made for entertainment purposes only  
I do not own any of this


End file.
